For New Year’s Eve, all guests received an invitation and a party cracker in the mail.

We’re entering another year of this pandemic, and while things are looking up, it’s still going to take time. While we all have Virtual Fatigue and a good lot of us are vaccinated, there’s still a need for some virtual activities, and it’s still one of the few ways we can stay in touch.

In 2020, COVID forced me into hosting the two parties I’d planned—34 Orchard Dark Literary Magazine’s launch in April and New Year’s Eve—into virtual rooms. What surprised me? I’d felt like I’d actually had a house full of guests, and my guests—especially for New Year’s Eve—said it was almost as though we’d all been together in person. It was so successful, I did it for my 50^th Birthday Party in February of 2021, and I’m hosting New Year’s Eve online again this year (my guests are from all over the country, and sometimes, people come and stay for a few days. Even with all of us being vaccinated, that’s still not really possible this year–we don’t feel it’s worth the risk).

Wanna pull that off? Here’s how:

1 Choose a theme. A party is a party, right? Yes. But a theme creates a cohesion that changes it from a party to an EVENT.

My 50th birthday was themed for my favorite childhood book, THE PENGUIN THAT HATED THE COLD. So the decor was sort of a winter/tropical mix.

2 Set up your chat room/Meet-up/whatever early. Then call your party something and use a website like bitly.com to create a custom link, which will look something like bit.ly/Kristi’s50thSnowedInBBQ. This makes it feel like a special event rather than “just another virtual call.”

3 Decide what activities you’d like to do at this party. It’s a special occasion, so have something to make it feel special and different from every other online thing people have been staring at. For New Year’s Eve, we had a food and beverage show and tell (what was everyone eating and drinking?), a champagne toast, the opening of Christmas crackers which contain New Year’s Wishes, and a game of Cards Against Humanity.

Our tradition is to play Cards Against Humanity on New Year’s Eve. With a slight adjustment to the “you don’t know whose card is whose” rule, you can still play. That’s really the only thing you have to change if you want an interactive game online. It almost makes it more fun.

4 Write down a list of things guests will need to participate: their own liquor? A particular board or card game? Snacks? You’ll put this on your invitation. If guests have to “bring” something to the party, they automatically feel more involved, and like it’s more in the real world rather than just on their couches.

5 Get clever favors as keepsakes for your event. You can certainly make something out of paper, but if you’d rather buy something, Oriental Trading, which is online, has lots of silly fun stuff that’s very inexpensive. Keep in mind if you order from there, though, you should do it six weeks before you plan to mail out your invitations so that you get the items in time. You could always look on Amazon if you have Prime, and you can always pick up something the next time you’re out at the grocery store.

For my 50th, each guest received a bag of candy in the mail–yes, just like when we were kids. I must confess I mailed them early and most of the guests ate their treats the second they received them!! LOL!!

6 Design a real snail-mail (yes, through the post office) invitation. This puts it solidly in the real world—it’s something guests can touch and hold and put on their refrigerators, lending an air of tangibility. While you can also email the link to your room to your guests, the shortened link you created can be put on the paper invitations, and guests can just type it into their browsers easily. Include your favor and drop it in the mail!

7 The night of the event, make sure the space where you’re partying is clean, decorated, and has some ambience (such as lit candles)—just as though people were really coming over.

A quarter of my dining room table was reserved space for the Virtual Guests that would appear on my computer during my 50th birthday party in February, 2021.

8 Even if none of your guests dress up? You should. It’ll make you feel like you really went someplace.

I chose my favorite red dress and pretty jewelry to wear on New Year’s Eve. The only thing different was that I wore slippers instead of shoes.

9 Spread out your snacks and drinks nearby, just as you would if people were joining you in person. Set out paper plates, cocktail napkins, the whole nine yards.

Themed paper goods–plates and napkins — makes a BIG difference in atmosphere.

This is a fraction of the food we put out for New Year’s Eve. There were only three of us here at home, but we filled up that table with goodies!

I know. It was only my husband Nathan, my housemate Charles, and me, but we put out a LOT of food for my 50th birthday.

The party food at my 50th birthday.

10 If you have specific activities during the event, stay on schedule. If you say you’re sharing dessert or doing a toast at three, make sure you do it at three. Just like a real party, some guests may only wish to stay through a certain activity and then go (like leaving after the birthday cake).

My husband Nathan, my housemate Charles and I got SO DRUNK on NYE. Here’s our toast at midnight. When we came down the next morning, it looked like we’d had 15 people over. The place was TRASHED. We didn’t feel like we’d missed anything at all!

I hope you find this helpful, and I hope that your future virtual gatherings will feel a little more in person!