52 Weeks of Spam: Winners, Week of January 2

Everybody hates Spam—it fills up your Inbox (unless you’ve got G-mail, which does a great job of putting it in an appropriately-labeled folder), clogs your blog (WordPress does a great job filtering, too), and can threaten your computer’s security.

I have to say though, I love my Spam. It cracks me up—it’s poorly spelled, illiterate, and often leaves me wondering who would be dumb enough to click on the link for whatever product/service/sum from mysterious relative in a country you’ve never heard of. So I decided in 2012 I’d go through my Spam each week and pick my favorites to share with the world. I remove the sender and any links that might be damaging (plus, who wants to give them press?).

Winners, Week of January 2:

100 priecless tiips for thsoe wmoen whoo hvaen’t fonud thier iedal vagnial inefction teratment!

…um, what is a ‘teratment’? Is that a new species of turtle?

~

Re: build up of fool ingredients

Men are usually embarrassed to discuss their hale condition issues – MediTrust can help

I don’t think I want to even know what a “hale condition” is. I can only imagine it has something to do with uncontrolled weather coming out of someone’s orifice?

~

“Have you ever thought of meeting your true love in the Internet? A hot beautiful woman is waiting for you to chat with her! my account on this site: XXX.xxx.”

I just got engaged so I don’t need it, but I’m sure someone I know is in need of a hot, beautiful woman…I wouldn’t want any of my friends to be single too much longer.

See you next week! If you get any great Spam, you can post it here, just strip any links and the sender’s e-mail. And be sure to say something in the post to let me know you’re real. Otherwise I might think you’re…well, Spam.

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About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in countless magazines and anthologies. She has received three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies, is a co-editor for Read Short Fiction, and co-hosts the Dark Discussions Podcast. Her work Skeletons in the Swimmin’ Hole is a collection of ghost stories set in Disney Parks; her horror novel, Bad Apple, was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She’s also a member of the New England Horror Writers Association. More info: www.kristipetersenschoonover.com

Posted on January 7, 2012, in 52 Weeks of Spam and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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