52 Weeks of Spam: Winners, Week of January 2

Everybody hates Spam—it fills up your Inbox (unless you’ve got G-mail, which does a great job of putting it in an appropriately-labeled folder), clogs your blog (WordPress does a great job filtering, too), and can threaten your computer’s security.

I have to say though, I love my Spam. It cracks me up—it’s poorly spelled, illiterate, and often leaves me wondering who would be dumb enough to click on the link for whatever product/service/sum from mysterious relative in a country you’ve never heard of. So I decided in 2012 I’d go through my Spam each week and pick my favorites to share with the world. I remove the sender and any links that might be damaging (plus, who wants to give them press?).

Winners, Week of January 2:

100 priecless tiips for thsoe wmoen whoo hvaen’t fonud thier iedal vagnial inefction teratment!

…um, what is a ‘teratment’? Is that a new species of turtle?

~

Re: build up of fool ingredients

Men are usually embarrassed to discuss their hale condition issues – MediTrust can help

I don’t think I want to even know what a “hale condition” is. I can only imagine it has something to do with uncontrolled weather coming out of someone’s orifice?

~

“Have you ever thought of meeting your true love in the Internet? A hot beautiful woman is waiting for you to chat with her! my account on this site: XXX.xxx.”

I just got engaged so I don’t need it, but I’m sure someone I know is in need of a hot, beautiful woman…I wouldn’t want any of my friends to be single too much longer.

See you next week! If you get any great Spam, you can post it here, just strip any links and the sender’s e-mail. And be sure to say something in the post to let me know you’re real. Otherwise I might think you’re…well, Spam.

About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in many magazines and anthologies; her traditionally published books include a short story collection, THE SHADOWS BEHIND. She was the recipient of three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies and holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College. She serves as co-host of the DARK DISCUSSIONS podcast, as founding editor of the dark literary journal 34 ORCHARD, and is a member of both the New England Horror Writers and the Horror Writers Association. Follow her adventures at kristipetersenschoonover.com.

Posted on January 7, 2012, in 52 Weeks of Spam and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: