52 Weeks of Spam: Winners, Week of January 23

Winners, Week of January 23:

Reply Back To [E-mail with a Yahoo address…no surprise there]

From The Cash Grant Programme Department,

Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation,

Hello Grant Beneficiary,

Bill & Melinda Gates (Microsoft) Foundation is delighted to bring to your notification, that you have been selected as a lucky beneficiary of One Million, Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars (US$1,500,000.00). You are to send in your reply containing the required details below for your grant funds’ processing.


Full Names:

Contact Address:





Land Telephone No. (If Any):

Mobile Telephone No.:

Email Address:

Marital Status:

Employer (If Any):

Best regards,

Honourable Yang Soung

Secretary and Treasurer (Cash Grant Programme Co-ordinator).


Well, this totally changes my opinion of Microsoft…they’re clearly giving away thousands of dollars to everyone, and all I have to do is give them my phone numbers. Oh…and is THAT the proper use of a comma? Learn something new every day!


Everybody hates Spam—it fills up your Inbox (unless you’ve got G-mail, which does a great job of putting it in an appropriately-labeled folder), clogs your blog (WordPress does a great job filtering, too), and can threaten your computer’s security.

I have to say though, I love my Spam. It cracks me up—it’s poorly spelled, illiterate, and often leaves me wondering who would be dumb enough to click on the link for whatever product/service/lottery winning from mysterious relative in a country you’ve never heard of. So I decided in 2012 I’d go through my Spam each week and pick my favorites to share with the world. I remove the sender and any links that might be damaging (plus, who wants to give them press?).

See you next week! If you get any great Spam, you can post it here, just strip any links and the sender’s e-mail. And be sure to say something in the post to let me know you’re real. Otherwise I might think you’re…well, Spam.

About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in many magazines and anthologies; her traditionally published books include a short story collection, THE SHADOWS BEHIND. She was the recipient of three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies and holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College. She serves as co-host of the DARK DISCUSSIONS podcast, as founding editor of the dark literary journal 34 ORCHARD, and is a member of both the New England Horror Writers and the Horror Writers Association. Follow her adventures at kristipetersenschoonover.com.

Posted on January 28, 2012, in 52 Weeks of Spam and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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