52 Weeks of Spam: Winners, Week of January 23

Winners, Week of January 23:

Reply Back To [E-mail with a Yahoo address…no surprise there]

From The Cash Grant Programme Department,

Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation,

Hello Grant Beneficiary,

Bill & Melinda Gates (Microsoft) Foundation is delighted to bring to your notification, that you have been selected as a lucky beneficiary of One Million, Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars (US$1,500,000.00). You are to send in your reply containing the required details below for your grant funds’ processing.


Full Names:

Contact Address:





Land Telephone No. (If Any):

Mobile Telephone No.:

Email Address:

Marital Status:

Employer (If Any):

Best regards,

Honourable Yang Soung

Secretary and Treasurer (Cash Grant Programme Co-ordinator).


Well, this totally changes my opinion of Microsoft…they’re clearly giving away thousands of dollars to everyone, and all I have to do is give them my phone numbers. Oh…and is THAT the proper use of a comma? Learn something new every day!


Everybody hates Spam—it fills up your Inbox (unless you’ve got G-mail, which does a great job of putting it in an appropriately-labeled folder), clogs your blog (WordPress does a great job filtering, too), and can threaten your computer’s security.

I have to say though, I love my Spam. It cracks me up—it’s poorly spelled, illiterate, and often leaves me wondering who would be dumb enough to click on the link for whatever product/service/lottery winning from mysterious relative in a country you’ve never heard of. So I decided in 2012 I’d go through my Spam each week and pick my favorites to share with the world. I remove the sender and any links that might be damaging (plus, who wants to give them press?).

See you next week! If you get any great Spam, you can post it here, just strip any links and the sender’s e-mail. And be sure to say something in the post to let me know you’re real. Otherwise I might think you’re…well, Spam.


About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in countless magazines and anthologies. She has received three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies, served as a co-editor for Read Short Fiction, has judged both writing and grant competitions and co-hosts the Dark Discussions Podcast. Her work Skeletons in the Swimmin’ Hole is a collection of ghost stories set in Disney Parks; her novel, Bad Apple, was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She’s also a member of the New England Horror Writers Association. More info: www.kristipetersenschoonover.com

Posted on January 28, 2012, in 52 Weeks of Spam and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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