52 Weeks of Spam: Winners, Week of March 26

Winners, Week of March 26:

Re: Kaye Petersen

From:   [You guess right! YET ANOTHER AOL ADDRESS!]

Hey Kaye Petersen,

I guess your job is going good. I wanted to alert you to a superb job opp. inDanbury. Kaye we have had few of our clients take this opportunity and I have heard great stories.

The local paper has story featuring one of our clients, Kelly Richards. It will also give you all the important information you need to get started. Kaye the link is [scary link] and I believe the story will be on the homepage until tomorrow.


[No Name]

[Signature Line:] Poetry should be common in experience but uncommon in books. – Robert Frost

While this one is similar to last week’s, I just had to give it kudos for opening with a line like “I guess your job is going good” and closing with a quote from Robert Frost.

Everybody hates Spam—it fills up your Inbox (unless you’ve got G-mail, which does a great job of putting it in an appropriately-labeled folder), clogs your blog (WordPress does a great job filtering, too), and can threaten your computer’s security.

I have to say though, I love my Spam. It cracks me up—it’s poorly spelled, illiterate, and often leaves me wondering who would be dumb enough to click on the link for whatever product/service/lottery winning from mysterious relative in a country you’ve never heard of. So I decided in 2012 I’d go through my Spam each week and pick my favorites to share with the world. I remove the sender and any links that might be damaging (plus, who wants to give them press?).

See you next week! If you get any great Spam, you can post it here, just strip any links and the sender’s e-mail. And be sure to say something in the post to let me know you’re real. Otherwise I might think you’re…well, Spam.

About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in many magazines and anthologies; her traditionally published books include a short story collection, THE SHADOWS BEHIND. She was the recipient of three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies and holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College. She serves as co-host of the DARK DISCUSSIONS podcast, as founding editor of the dark literary journal 34 ORCHARD, and is a member of both the New England Horror Writers and the Horror Writers Association. Follow her adventures at kristipetersenschoonover.com.

Posted on March 31, 2012, in 52 Weeks of Spam and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. You asked for it–this one cracks me up. I mean, the opening is a real attention-grabber and it takes half the spam before it tells you just WTF it’s even advertising!

    L..R..Replications ✆

    Mar 30 (2 days ago)

    to nicolet



    This is real!


    You no longer have to dream about owning a high-end luxury

    With over 500 new models to choose from you might think you
    are in a dream.




    Every SINGLE wristwatch we make is made with the same:

    Materials, Metals, Labeling and Functionality as the original.

    There is no possible way to tell the difference!



    Every wristwatch has been price reduced by 15-25%.

    This will be ending
    Sunday April 8th, 2012

    • NANCY, THAT IS GREAT! I love the line, “This is real.” My first reaction, “what’s real?” But what’s even better is that they’re hocking knock-offs, but insisting that these knock-offs are exactly the SAME as the high-end luxury watches. Okay, so then…which is it? A knock-off or a luxury watch?

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