52 Weeks of Spam: Winners, Week of March 26

Winners, Week of March 26:

Re: Kaye Petersen

From:   [You guess right! YET ANOTHER AOL ADDRESS!]

Hey Kaye Petersen,

I guess your job is going good. I wanted to alert you to a superb job opp. inDanbury. Kaye we have had few of our clients take this opportunity and I have heard great stories.

The local paper has story featuring one of our clients, Kelly Richards. It will also give you all the important information you need to get started. Kaye the link is [scary link] and I believe the story will be on the homepage until tomorrow.

Truly,

[No Name]

[Signature Line:] Poetry should be common in experience but uncommon in books. – Robert Frost

While this one is similar to last week’s, I just had to give it kudos for opening with a line like “I guess your job is going good” and closing with a quote from Robert Frost.

Everybody hates Spam—it fills up your Inbox (unless you’ve got G-mail, which does a great job of putting it in an appropriately-labeled folder), clogs your blog (WordPress does a great job filtering, too), and can threaten your computer’s security.

I have to say though, I love my Spam. It cracks me up—it’s poorly spelled, illiterate, and often leaves me wondering who would be dumb enough to click on the link for whatever product/service/lottery winning from mysterious relative in a country you’ve never heard of. So I decided in 2012 I’d go through my Spam each week and pick my favorites to share with the world. I remove the sender and any links that might be damaging (plus, who wants to give them press?).

See you next week! If you get any great Spam, you can post it here, just strip any links and the sender’s e-mail. And be sure to say something in the post to let me know you’re real. Otherwise I might think you’re…well, Spam.

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About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in countless magazines and anthologies. She has received three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies, is a co-editor for Read Short Fiction, and co-hosts the Dark Discussions Podcast. Her work Skeletons in the Swimmin’ Hole is a collection of ghost stories set in Disney Parks; her horror novel, Bad Apple, was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She’s also a member of the New England Horror Writers Association. More info: www.kristipetersenschoonover.com

Posted on March 31, 2012, in 52 Weeks of Spam and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. You asked for it–this one cracks me up. I mean, the opening is a real attention-grabber and it takes half the spam before it tells you just WTF it’s even advertising!

    L..R..Replications ✆

    Mar 30 (2 days ago)

    to nicolet
     

     

    YOU ARE NOT DREAMING:

    This is real!

     

    You no longer have to dream about owning a high-end luxury
    wristwatch.

    With over 500 new models to choose from you might think you
    are in a dream.

     

    WE ARE BETTER THAN THE REST:

     

    Every SINGLE wristwatch we make is made with the same:

    Materials, Metals, Labeling and Functionality as the original.

    There is no possible way to tell the difference!

     

    ENDING EASTER SUNDAY:

    Every wristwatch has been price reduced by 15-25%.

    This will be ending
    Sunday April 8th, 2012

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