The truth is out there: I called THIS one when I was 14…

Ralos Paper Art

My 9th grade science teacher, Mr. Coleman, gave us an assignment to “create our own solar system” and “describe each planet, its atmosphere, and geological/geographic properties.” Something like that, anyway—I don’t really remember the exact parameters.

I loved doing homework, and I especially loved projects (my home life sucked, so anything that could help me mentally escape—and have an excuse to not do ridiculous chores—was a win). I threw myself into this one whole hog, but strayed a little bit from the hard-core science paper by adding lots of fiction and poetry (like, seriously? Who does that? Who even thinks it’s a good IDEA to do that?) So I shouldn’t have been surprised when Mr. Coleman called me in to “discuss my paper” because it “was of some concern.” I don’t remember the conversation as a whole, but I do remember, word for word, a few things he said, among them, “I mean, planets moving back and forth like clocks? Planets that don’t spin at all? It’s ridiculous!” and also, that what I had dreamed up was scientifically impossible.

I remember thinking, as I left the classroom to go to—lunch, I think it was—that while he was a science teacher, he was kind of not too swift. Yes, it’s true, I didn’t give him what he asked for, but I mean, why couldn’t planets move in ways we’ve never seen? Wasn’t it true that there were whole expanses of space that had never been explored? Didn’t we just get done learning in biology class that a long-extinct fish called the Coelacanth had turned up in someone’s nets in Madagascar?

Later on, I felt stupid: Of course not, silly. Of course planets can’t move contrary to whatever we’ve already seen. It’s laws of physics.

I never forgot that conversation, but I kept my admittedly cringe-worthy paper.

I never dreamed the day would come when it would be proven that some of what I’d dreamed up was not only possible, it existed. I recently read that scientists had discovered a planet (known as 55 Cancri e) with a permanent day and night side—which means the planet doesn’t spin as ours does. You can read more about this place—which they now think might even have an atmosphere—here: http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2017/11/nasa-scientists-debate-alien-planet-55-cancri-e-does-it-have-an-atmosphere-like-earth-venus.html

We’ve still yet to discover a planet that moves back and forth like a clock, but…you know, I’ll keep hoping.

If you’d like to read my really bad science paper, I’ve included it below—you can judge for yourself if I really deserved that 19/25 (which works out, I think, to a B+, if each grade is worth five points…I guess he didn’t hate it that much?)

9th Grade Science Paper — Ralos

 

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About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in countless magazines and anthologies. She has received three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies, served as a co-editor for Read Short Fiction, has judged both writing and grant competitions and co-hosts the Dark Discussions Podcast. Her work Skeletons in the Swimmin’ Hole is a collection of ghost stories set in Disney Parks; her novel, Bad Apple, was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She’s also a member of the New England Horror Writers Association. More info: www.kristipetersenschoonover.com

Posted on February 5, 2018, in Deep Thoughts & Fun Stuff and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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