Category Archives: Deep Thoughts & Fun Stuff

When I don’t have to go anywhere …

… the snow is pretty! This is the view out my home office window.

Snow-laden tree branches

Since I don’t drive in the snow, and I’m not a fan of the cold, I think I’m going to enjoy this winter. While I still have to go to my day job five days a week, I have loads of days off available (no vacations planned) I can use as snow days. And there are NO plans to go anywhere on weekends.

I’m really looking forward to this.

Yesterday was Wishes & Intentions Day!

Every year for the past few, my friend Heather and I have taken January 2 to write down our wishes and intentions for the coming year. We then seal them up in an envelope, and open them on January 2 the following year before writing new ones.

I totally forget what’s on mine, so it’s always interesting to see what I’ve written down. I’m happy to say that I accomplished 11 out of 22 in 2020 (and some are still “in progress”)—among them, write more, get the toxicity out of my life, keep my home office clean, and stop going to so many events so that I can enjoy more time at home (when I saw that one, I got the creeps).

I went more specific for 2021, and have 63 wishes and intentions. We’ll see what happens!

Busy Snow Birds

We had our first nor’easter of the season yesterday, and our backyard birds were very busy at the feeders. It was a tranquil scene to wake up to.

A female cardinal, a pair of white-throated sparrows and a fat junco beneath one of our feeder poles.
A female cardinal, a pair of white-throated sparrows and a fat junco beneath one of our feeder poles.

Farewell, Poe

I am heartbroken to share that my little black cat Poe (8/17/02—07/21/20), just shy of 18, has passed.

Poe was the runt of his litter, and an ex and I rescued him from a filthy house in which he was sleeping in an oven when he was just eight weeks old. We’d already chosen the name Poe, even though the lady called him Sam. We got to the house, and he was nowhere to be found (there were like 100 cats). Tom called “Poe” and he came right to us. For the rest of his life, he always came running when I called his name.

Poe and Turkey

Poe clearly thinks the platter of Thanksgiving turkey is for him. November, 2005.

Poe was extremely intelligent, and a bit of a wisecracker—there were times I could almost see him rolling his eyes at his less-than-bright brother, Mikey. He loved his bacon, and at Thanksgiving, he was constantly sitting in an empty seat and trying to get at the turkey. He also loved cream cheese (I was prepping for a party once, left to use the restroom, came back into the kitchen, and he was Read the rest of this entry

HAPPY 4th OF JULY!

From our house to yours, a very happy Fourth! Stay safe and enjoy whatever it is you do with those you love!

Vintage 4th of July jewelry

This vintage jewelry–some of it dating back to the 1960s–belonged to my Italian great aunts, who had jewelry for EVERY. HOLIDAY. And then some!

In our yard, GLOBAL BIG DAY came early!

This year’s Global Big Day logo. Artwork by Luke Seitz.

Global Big Day–an annual event in which birders all over the country watch and count birds in the name of citizen science–happens at the beginning of the migration season, in early May. This year, it’s next Saturday, May 9!

Although we won’t be doing our usual driving everywhere–to parks and other places–due to the pandemic, we will definitely be participating from our own back porch. You can, too! If you’ve already got some feeders up, you’re all set. Grab your coffee, cocktails and binoculars Read the rest of this entry

Writing in the Time of Weirdness: How to Focus in Chaos

Bad Omen Bird

Creating art—any kind of art—demands two things: time, and focus. Right now, time, for many of us, is no longer a factor. We’re working from home or in half-empty offices where no one is calling, there aren’t any social obligations (except virtually), activities and trips are cancelled, and we’re not spending hours in the car commuting or running errands. If not all the time in the world to write, we at least have more than we did before. But what I’m hearing from many of my writing friends is this: “I’m like that guy in the Twilight Zone episode who finally had all that time to read … and his glasses broke.”

Why?

Because right now, there is no routine, no stability, no telling what the hell is going to happen tomorrow, and no hope of it ending any time soon. Anxiety, even in those who aren’t chronic sufferers, is taking over. For artists of any kind who need to have stability in the rest of their lives to create, it’s debilitating.

But there are some things writers can do to get themselves back on track.

I grew up in a completely destabilized household. Between the ages of 8 and 18, I lived my daily life at the level of anxiety, dread of the scary unknown, intense worry, and constant distraction that most “normal” people are feeling now. While my mother was dying of cancer—and then following her passing—I would come home from school every day, stand at the bottom of the porch steps, and think, What fresh hell is going to be beyond that door today? Death, contagious illness, cancelled activities because of whatever was going on, lack of food, a giant mess the kids made, the news that we had to go to Yale New Haven and sit in waiting rooms for a week, we were leaving our church and going to a different one, your brother burned down the woods again and is in jail—there was no routine. Not ever. That was my daily life. I’d wake up and have absolutely no idea what was going to happen to me or those I loved. Quite frankly, the only thing I could count on was the Sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

As C-19 began to spin out of control, I was, at first, in the same boat as everyone else—unfocused and crippled by the terrifying uncertainty. Then, one afternoon, I suddenly recognized what I was feeling—and it was familiar. I realized that I was uniquely qualified to keep focused and working when others couldn’t. I said, “Holy s***. I’ve been here before! I got this!” After all, despite all of that, I graduated from high school with fantastic grades, participated successfully in several after-school activities, kept up my personal hygiene and always looked put together, and managed to not only write, but complete many creative projects.

How did I do it?

I learned how to shut everything down.

If you’re a writer, I hope these tips on how to get back to work will help you. We are the chroniclers of these extraordinary happenings, the people who will tell the tales of what this was like to live through it, the people who will tell the first-person stories of the nurses, doctors, truck drivers, and others on the front lines while the rest of us were quarantined, the people who will share the stories of tragic loss and heartbreak. Our fiction, drama, poetry, and creative nonfiction will, one day, provide a snapshot of this historic event on a personal, emotional level. Honestly? Some really f***** good work is going to come out of this, whether it is actually about this situation or not.

TIPS

1 Find, or make—yes, even if your home life is now disrupted by children—the time to go into your writing office each day (if possible) and shut the door. Light a candle, put on your music, whatever it is that you normally do, as though the world isn’t losing its mind. Think of the closed door as that barrier between you and chaos. Whatever is going on beyond it? Not your problem until you emerge. You see, hear, smell, and are distracted by nothing while you are behind your door. If your “office” is in a shared space in your home, then make a temporary place in a closet, laundry room, or wherever. But it should have a door that closes. That part is very important. Also, tell the people in your household you cannot be disturbed for the hour. There is nothing that could happen in an hour—short of burning the house down or someone getting sick or bleeding to death—that they can’t handle. It can wait.

2 Set a designated time to watch the news or get C-19 updates, but don’t be checking all day long. I was writing in the early 1980s, and we didn’t have the Internet, but man, did we have TVs in every room and Atari video game systems, and believe me, it was just as tempting. This is an upsetting thing to watch unfold. Just step away from it—twice a day for ten minutes is enough to get the important things you need to know. It’s not necessary for it to be in your face every waking minute.

3 When you talk with your friends on the phone or through video conferencing, don’t dwell on what’s happening in the world. Talk, instead, about anything but: what you’re writing, what you just bought online, how your family is doing—whatever—just NOT the C-word. It’s important to feel as though life is going to carry on as normal, even if, deep down, you know it won’t. Dwelling on it makes it worse. When my mother was sick and I was living in that hell, only a handful of my closest friends knew what was happening at home, and none of us talked about it. When I was with them, when I was at school, I wanted things to feel normal. It kept me functioning and hoping for a brighter future.

4 Indulge in fantasy—check out when you can. That’s right. Sit around and day dream, think about being someplace else, and if you get the urge, write stories in which you’re the main character doing all of those things you wish you could do or being a different version of yourself. Your imagination is a powerful tool. Use it to go live the life you’ve always wanted (when I was 15 I was spending a lot of time with Indiana Jones).

5 When you’re tortured, get it out on paper. You’d be surprised how awesome spewing a bunch of emotional garbage onto a piece of paper or on a blank document makes you feel, and you might even get a story out of it.

6 Step back and realize that this, hopefully, will never happen again in our lifetimes, and watch the drama unfold as though it were not happening to you. This requires an almost disassociation with that of your physical body, but it can be done.

7 Frame the future and know that you’ll feel good again someday. Look at this time as a gift, and know that everything you do now is going to prepare you for something exciting later. Trust that the work you are doing now is important, and make it as much of a priority as you can, even as the world is heaping new demands on you and saying it isn’t. Never give up on your work or your vision of success, and believe that it will happen. All things come to an end—bad things, too.

Merry Christmas! Here’s some Christmas Tree madness to brighten your day!

My husband Nathan picked me up a couple of pairs of these glasses that turn your tree lights into funky things. Well, I promptly needed to “collect them all”—or most of them, anyway! I’ll be giving these out at my New Year’s Eve party, but I wanted to share how much fun these are with all of you.

Have a blessed Christmas and an amazing 2020!

Love,

Kristi, Nathan, Charles, and Poe and Mikey

Read the rest of this entry

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Rockettes kick lively 2012 Parade

The Radio City Music Hall Rockettes kick lively during their Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 2012 performance. These were my favorite outfits from the last decade.

For lots of people the highlight of Thanksgiving is the turkey … mine is watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (usually while I’m on the phone with my sister, who’s watching it, too) … and, specifically, the Rockettes.

My parents, who were in theater, always used to say “if the show’s going terribly, just get everybody up there for a chorus line kick and that’ll fix it.” While I’m sure that was an exaggeration, I know that every time I see those Rockettes do their famous kick, the happy tears start flowing. It’s the most exciting moment of the day. And what girl doesn’t want to wear those adorable costumes and shoes? (Take a look at some of their favorite outfits from parades past here: https://www.rockettes.com/blog/five-iconic-christmas-spectacular-costumes-we-wore-for-the-thanksgiving-day-parade/)

From our house to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!

Krissi, Nathan, Charles, and the cats (Poe and Mikey)

The things that haunt you: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

When I was eight, my mom made me a Cinderella dress. I wore it every day, and I cried when I grew out of it.

I have been waiting, like a princess for her Charming, for another version of that dress for 40 years, and today, my husband, Nathan, made it happen.

Cinderella 2019

I feel like that innocent little girl all over again. So, here’s to getting the opportunity to relive your childhood–and put those ghosts to rest.

Happy Halloween!

22 - Cinderella dashes down stairs

This is one of my favorite images from the Cinderella album, mostly because I love the way her skirt is drawn.

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