52 Weeks of Spam: Winners, Week of March 12

Winners, Week of March 12:

Letter From Mr.Hassan Goodluck !!! Send Your: Name:.. Tel:.. Country:..

Your E-Mail Id Was Awarded 750.000.00 Pounds In the British Premier Oil Promo For Claims Send:

From:   “Mr.Hassan Goodluck”<e-mail here>

To:       undisclosed-recipients:;

With great pleasure I Mr.Hassan Goodluck, working with a bank here inNigeriaas a Manager. I am writing you in respect of a foreign customer (an  Oil

consultant/contractor with our National Oil & Liquidified Gas Sector) whom made a US$25M depository for an investment program that has remained dormant for

years now. Hence, I have decided to contact you  due to the urgency of this transaction.

On personal investigation, I discovered that the account holder died on December 2002 in the Ukrainian aircraft crash. I made further investigation and discovered that the customer died without making a WILL on the depository.

It may interest you to know that I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local Bank account here, but can only be approved to a foreigner with an account since the money is in US Dollars. I have decided as a

matter of urgency upon this discovery now seek your permission to have you stand as next of kin to the fund as No one has ever come forward to claim this fund. It

may also interest you to know that I have secured from the probate an ORDER OF MADAMUS to locate any of deceased beneficiary. In accordance to Nigerian Law,

fund deposited for over a period of Six (6) years without claim will be reverted to the Government treasury, if nobody applies to claim this fund.

I will like you to provide immediately your full Names and Address, Date of Birth, Occupation, Tel & Fax Numbers so that an Attorney will be able to prepare the necessary documents and affidavit which will put you in place as the next of kin. The Attorney will draft and carry  out the notarization of the WILL and also obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favour for the transfer.

At the successful conclusion of this business, your goodself shall be entitled to have 40% that is, USD$10M of the total money while I will have 55% that is USD$13.750M and 5% that is USD$1.250M for communications and other expenses. I am ready to invest a

reasonable percentage of mine into any viable business you suggest as a joint partner. Your percentage will also be a source of upliftment. You have absolutely nothing to LOSE in assisting me instead, you have so much to GAIN. Be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us.

Your response is highly imperative as this is a TWO-man business deal transaction as I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. I need your assistance and co-operation to this reality as I have done my Home-work and fine tune the best way to create you as the beneficiary while I would use my connection and money to secure almost all the paperwork for this transaction which will be done by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Manager

guarantees the successful execution of this transaction with you as the beneficiary to this fund.

I will appreciate your early reply for commencement of business. Contact me for acknowledgment by E-mail and whereby you are not interested, please indicate in

your reply so that I can seek for the assistance of someone else.

If this proposal is acceptable by you, I expect that you will not take undue advantage of the trust I Will bestow in you. I await your urgent response.

Thanks with great regards.

Mr.Hassan Goodluck

Dear Mr. Goodluck: I, undisclosed recipient and foreigner, am certainly okay with any moneys owed me by some decades-dead dude I don’t know going into the treasury for the Nigerian Government. Perhaps the government can take some of that money and eliminate the need for those “imagine, for just the cost of a cup of coffee a day” ads.

Everybody hates Spam—it fills up your Inbox (unless you’ve got G-mail, which does a great job of putting it in an appropriately-labeled folder), clogs your blog (WordPress does a great job filtering, too), and can threaten your computer’s security.

I have to say though, I love my Spam. It cracks me up—it’s poorly spelled, illiterate, and often leaves me wondering who would be dumb enough to click on the link for whatever product/service/lottery winning from mysterious relative in a country you’ve never heard of. So I decided in 2012 I’d go through my Spam each week and pick my favorites to share with the world. I remove the sender and any links that might be damaging (plus, who wants to give them press?).

See you next week! If you get any great Spam, you can post it here, just strip any links and the sender’s e-mail. And be sure to say something in the post to let me know you’re real. Otherwise I might think you’re…well, Spam.


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About kristipetersenschoonover

A ghost story writer who still sleeps with the lights on, Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s fiction has appeared in countless magazines and anthologies. She has received three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies, is a co-editor for Read Short Fiction, and co-hosts the Dark Discussions Podcast. Her work Skeletons in the Swimmin’ Hole is a collection of ghost stories set in Disney Parks; her horror novel, Bad Apple, was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She’s also a member of the New England Horror Writers Association. More info: www.kristipetersenschoonover.com

Posted on March 17, 2012, in 52 Weeks of Spam and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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